You Might Live In Maine If,
By Jeff Foxworthy
If you consider it a sport to gather your
food by drilling through 18 inches of ice
and sitting there all day hoping that the
food will swim by,
You might live in Maine
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
November through March,
You might live in Maine
If someone in a store offers you assistance,
and they don't work there,
You might live in Maine
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving
around the middle of his forehead,
You might live in Maine
If you know how to say...Wicked. ..Up to
camp. .Ayuh.Can't get there from heyah,
You might live in Maine
If vacation means going "up north"
for the weekend,
You might live in Maine
If you measure distance in hours,
You might live in Maine
If you know several people, who have hit
deer more than once,
You might live in Maine
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of
snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
and keep drinking coffee
You might live in Maine
If you see people wearing hunting clothes
at social events,
You might live in Maine
If you install security lights on your house
and garage and leave both unlocked,
You might live in Maine
If you think of the major food groups as
beer, fish, and Venison,
You might live in Maine
If you carry jumper cables in your car, and
your wife or girlfriend knows how to use
them,
You might live in Maine
If there are 7 empty unlocked cars running
in the parking lot at Hannafords at any given
time,
You might live in Maine
If you design your kid's Halloween costume
to fit over a snowsuit,
You might live in Maine
If driving is better in the winter because
the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Maine
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter,
winter, mud season and of course, road construction,
You might live in Maine
If you can identify a southern or Massachusetts
accent,
You might live in Maine
If your idea of creative landscaping is a
plastic deer next to your blue spruce,
You might live in Maine
If "Down South" to you means Boston
You might live in Maine
If you know "scat" is something
you don't eat,
You might live in Maine
If you find -15 degrees "a little chilly",
You might live in Maine
If you actually understand these jokes, and
you forward them to all your Maine friends,
You DO Live In Maine!